Just to make sure that the rot doesn’t spread, we can seize voting data from the parties to round up everyone who voted in these Parliamentarians, as they are clearly in agreement with these treasonous sentiments.

Anyone who’s been abroad in the past few years will of course have to be imprisoned in case they came into contact with some Johnny Foreigner who didn’t immediately prostrate himself and plead to become a subject of the crown.

The result will be a most effective government of a rump of probably no more than two-dozen backbenchers elected in 2005. A most wonderful invention I am sure as it will necessitate the abolition of many ministerial posts on the grounds of there not being enough MPs to fill them. This will, of course, not matter, as the vast majority of the population will be in prison and the rest will be employed to guard over them.

Even then this may be too optimistic a vision. My guess is that the only MP left standing would be Hazel Blears for her frightening ability to remain on-message regardless of what the message is, governing over what little of the population weren’t paying attention to the last twenty years or so.

Government of the redhead, by a redhead, for the airheads.

I’m sure that there must be at least one labour MP out there who would be liable on grounds of being overly friendly in times past to either the PIRA or those delightful chaps on the other side of the Iron Curtain.

Wouldn’t it be a lark to ask the police to investigate?