Thank You
I want to personally thank every left-wing activist who helped Boris into office this morning.
First, I’d like to thank the tireless smear campaigners in Compass and elsewhere for their continued misrepresentations of BoJo. You set expectations so low among some that all Boris had to do was turn up somewhere and smile and immediately his impression among voters would improve. You made him out to be so stupid that when he actually said something intelligent, the contrast was such that it made him appear doubly clever. The contrast between expectation and reality was so great that it probably generated more votes than it lost. Thank you for the inadvertent boost to his image that you gave him.
Thanks for lying so hard. It backfired marvellously when exposed.
Big thanks to every activist who tried to make this a negative campaign. It allowed us to dominate the positive agenda, resulting in the Tories being the only party with a clear and achievable set of policies and the demonstration that Labour is a spent force. We came up with so many policies that both Ken and Brian felt obliged to steal some of them. I would like to congratulate every negative campaigner who got out the Tory vote and turned people off Labour with misrepresentations. They galvanised all those who discovered the extent of the deceit involved, and ensured they endured the elements to get out and vote. Well done.
Thank you for making Boris out to be a clown. Your refusal to take him seriously meant that we had an easier time promoting our agenda. Promoting him as a bumbling charming fool one minute neutralised your claims to his being a demonic Machiavellian schemer the next.
And really big thanks to all those with the eminently mature “fuck Boris” facebook photos. When viewed in the facebook mini-format they were virtually indistinguishable from the “back Boris” photos. This helped us appear to have even more support on facebook.
Finally, thank you to all who promised to leave London if he won, as well as all the other apocalyptic rhetoric. Crying “racist” soon turned to crying wolf (especially when there’s now a real racist in the London Assembly). By decrying Boris as Satan incarnate you made sure that many voters didn’t take you seriously. Thank you for doing the job for us.
So thank you anti-Boris activists everywhere. We couldn’t have done it without your help.
